October 16, 2017I’m writing this letter. Well, it’s not really a letter. It’s more like an entry. I heard on the television that writing your feelings down might help with your stress. And that it might help with your anger. Do you think that’s true? Hell, I wonder if it will help me get laid. I guess I can dream. I like playing checkers and watching birds sing. The yellow ones are my favorite. Sometimes I watch the Red Robins when I get sick of all the yellow. I also like the Italian women, at least all the ones I’ve seen in the girly magazines. So, anyway, I finally got around to it: I ordered the most beautiful rifle in the world–the Carcano rifle. I think it was made in the 1940s. Kinda heavy too. I wait patiently for it to arrive. March 12 is when I sent off for it. What the hell is taking so long? You know the japs are pretty smart fellas? For my money they’re gonna be leading the world one day, I’m telling you. Their ladies aren’t too ugly, either. Well, anyway, I paid extra dough for one of them precision fancy Japanese scopes to get fitted with it. I wonder if it’s gonna rain today. The rain scared all of us kids in the orphanage when I was growing up. You know the orphanage and the Marines have a lot of things in common, but I’m not gonna go into that. Stresses me out thinking about the past too much. Remember me telling you I was gonna get rid of that military general? Well, I bungled that. Oh, well, it was a fun try. My wife would leave me if she knew the things that go on in my head. But Russian broads are different, you know. They’re not like American girls. They know how to treat a man. But sometimes just some–
“Darling, are you still in here pushing that pencil again?” She said holding a glass of lemonade and wearing the lavender apron she thought made her look like an endearing house-wife.
“I’m almost done, here. Pour me a glass will you?”
∞
